Living With Thy Neighbor
by Marie the Hedgecat
Summary: What would happen if Squee were to stay with Nny for a few weeks? Just some crazy thing I came up with. It's not a boring as it sounds, I swear!
1. Nightmare Number One

A/N: My second JTHM fic. (Don't worry, I stop keeping track when it hits three.) I don't know if this has already been used (and with my luck, it probably has) but I'll still give it a shot. This is what I picture happening if Squee were to be forced to live with Johnny for a few weeks or so. Also, suggestions for chapter ideas would be helpful. Very helpful. Oh how helpful they will be.

Disclaimer: This plot is owned by me. The characters, locations, etcetera are the property of Jhonen Vasquez.

-

The small child looked around the corner of the corridor carefully, hugging his teddy bear tightly. He had no idea where he was or how he got there. But he felt like something was watching him. And whatever that something was, be it a monster or a cute little bunny, it frightened him.

"Shmee... Which way do you think we should go?" the boy asked his plushie timidly. He paused for a moment, as if listening to an answer. "You think we should go forward? ... Okay then. Thanks, Shmee."

The child walked forward, hoping to not bump into a monster, or worse; the scary neighbor man. He began to hear sounds suddenly. The sound of frantic, pleading screams. And the sound of flesh being torn apart. He screamed and began to run, still trying to figure out where he was. It was so dark, he could hardly see.

"Y- yeah, you're right, Shmee." the child seemed to agree after looking to his teddy bear. "I need to be brave. We can't get out of here if I'm not brave."

Suddenly, the child heard a deep, growling sound. It seemed to come from all directions, causing him to feel even more uneasy. He turned around fearfully, a feeling of relief when he saw nothing. Cautiously, he hugged Shmee closer to himself and continued on. He looked directly forward and saw a light. He ran toward the light, hoping with all his heart that it was the way out. However, he was about to discover that assumption to be very, very wrong.

The boy entered the room warily. It was fairly well lit and there were numerous people shackled to the wall or to numerous torture devices. The child paused for a moment before screaming and running up the stairs on the opposite side of the room.

"I want to get out of here..." he whined sadly, his soft voice quivering with fear. "I really don't like this place. Th- those people need help! We need to get help for them!"

Timidly, the child entered yet another room, this one empty. He looked to the wall on the other side, noticing that it was covered with dried blood. He screamed when he saw the wall and got louder when he saw something begin to push its way out from the other side.

**"SQUEE!"**

-

The little boy, by the name of Todd Casil, woke up immediatly from his nightmare. He stared at the celing until his wide eyes adjusted to the dark, then noticing that he wasn't in his room.

"W- where am I?" he asked aloud, his voice filled with terror. "What's going on? **SQUEE!**" His scream rang through the house, actually waking up birds in nearby trees. His fear was very well hidden.

Just then, the child was greeted with the last sight he wanted to see; the scary neighbor man, by the name of Johnny, walked into the room.

"Is something wrong, Squee?" Johnny asked. "Don't forget, I'm responsible for you while your parents are vacationing. I'd really hate for something bad to happen to you while you're here."

Todd just stared at his neighbor, his eyes wide. Suddenly, he screamed again. He was really beginning to miss the monster from his nightmare.

-

That's it for chapter one. As you may have guessed already, these chapters aren't intended to be very long. Just short little ficlets that string togeather to create chapters of a weird story. Anyway, constructive critisism will be appreciated. Sugary reviews with no insult or critisism will be appreciated. Flames will be reflected back at the flamer, who in turn will be roasted for canables to dine upon. And people who don't review... Will be tolerated because no review is better than a flame. Okay, the rant's over.

And again, if anyone has chapter ideas, it'd be a great help. I only got up to the first half of chapter three and my brain melted. It'll be solid again soon. I hope.


	2. Waking up and Hunger pains

A/N: This chapter focuses on more random crap. You want to know what it focuses on? ... Dude, it's right there. Read it. Now. Happy Noodle Boy demands it!

Disclaimer: Same as last chapter.

-

Squee's timid, gentle eyes opened sleepily. He had had such a strange dream the night before. He dreamed that his parents left him at the scary neighbor man's house while they went on vacation. But that was silly. His parents wouldn't leave him at a homicidal maniac's house. Would they?

Squee looked around the room in confusion. It wasn't his bedroom. It was much smaller. W- was that a blood stain on the wall? No, it couldn't be. He must have been hallucinating. He closed and rubbed his eyes and reopened them, still seing the blood stain on the wall.

"Sh- Shmee... Where are we?" the child questioned timidly, looking to his teddy bear for comfort. "P- please don't say we're where I think we-"

Just then, Johnny convieniently entered the room, looking unusually happy. "Good morning, Squee!" the homicidal maniac greeted, hugging the young boy hapilly. Squee began screaming. This wasn't exactly his idea of a good way to start the morning. He suddenly remembered the monster from his dream the night before.

He really missed that monster.

-

After hugging Squee, Johnny skipped merrily out of the room, happy to... Well, go torture a random person in one of the lower levels of the house. Squee just stood there, frozen with fright, staring after Johnny, still holding Shmee by the arm. After a few minutes, he could hear terrified screaming (most likely one of Johnny's torture victims) and began to scream as well. After screaming, he heard the sound of someone running up a flight of stairs and soon after, Johnny reappeared in the doorway.

"Is something wrong, Squee?" the insomniac questioned. He honestly couldn't understand that Squee was screaming because he heard someone being tortured. I mean, we all hear these sounds every day, right? "Do you need to play a video game?"

Squee backed away, staring at Johnny with his wide, frightened eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by his stomach growling. He looked to the growling organ as Johnny began speaking.

"Oh no! You're hungry! You could starve to death! I must feed you!" Johnny exclaimed loudly, running out of the room as fast as he could, leaving Squee just standing there, wondering what in the world was wrong with him. It was odd that some guy who didn't seem to eat enough was panicking about the young boy just because his stomach growled.

Squee looked to Shmee. "What should we do?" the child asked quietly. He waited, listening to the teddy bear's silent answer. "Uh... I think that's a little harsh... Why don't we just ask to leave? ... Okay, I'll ask."

Squee walked out of the room and found Johnny in the kitchen, looking through the pantry quickly, throwing empty boxes on the floor uncaringly. The kitchen was a mess, as was the rest of the house.

"Uh... Mister neighbor man..." Squee began timidly, looking to the floor. "C- can I leave? Please?"

Johnny looked to Squee, looking hurt ,wondering why he would ask such a thing. "But you can't leave!" he groaned as if he was a little kid. "I need to protect you from anything that can harm you! And now, I must feed you!"

Nailbunny floated up to them, unintentionally scaring Squee. He ignored Squee's screaming and concentrated on Johnny. "You do realise that there's no food left, don't you?" he asked.

Johnny looked to the floor, where a bread crumb laid. "Nuh- uh." Johnny argued, pointing to the arformentioned bread crumb. "There's some-". Before he had a chance to finish, Mr. Samsa convieniently ran by and ate the bread crumb. "... We should probably go grocery shopping..."

Squee wanted so badly to run away. He wanted to go home, run up to his room, barricade the door, and write a story about how screwed up his life was. However, before he had the chance, Johnny grabbed his arm and began running off to the grocery store.

Why wouldn't that monster from the dream just come out and eat him?

-

That's the end of chapter two. Mmmyep. Well, I sort of know how the next chapter's going to go. (Whee! Chaos in a grocery store!) Although, I'm still recovering from writers block, so it may take a while. I'm sorry! Anyway, please review and let me know what you think of this. (Unless you hate it. Then you need to get a random sence of humor and come back later.) Goodbye!


	3. Grocery Shopping and Aliens

A/N: Sorry for the long delay! I was busy with school stuff. (High school sucks) But it's back with chapter three and it's... a bit more insane. I think.

Disclaimer: Damn! I left the skettios on the stove!

-

Johnny dragged Squee to the grocery store, still out of character and happily skipping. You see, he was hungry as well and was acting hyper as a result of it. Squee was especially unhappy because he had accidentaly dropped Shmee by the front door of the scary neighbor man's house. Poor Shmee was all alone in that spooky house. (With only the doughboys and Nailbunny to keep him company.)

After a while of dragging, they finally reached the grocery store. Realising that they were ultimately there for breakfast food, Johnny wasted no time getting to the candy isle. Knowing good food to feed to children was obviously not one of Nny's strong points. Squee followed him, prefering to be with a scary person that he knew kind of well than with a bunch of scary strangers that he didn't even know. (What if he were to bump into another creepy man like he did at the mall that one night?)

Johnny was hyperly looking through the candy like a sugar high three year old. Squee looked to the candy thoughtfully. Sure, the thought of gaining two hundred pounds and risking numerous health problems in the future while eating a mountain of candy was tempting, but a part of him knew that that wouldn't be right. He needed healthy food so he could be strong and fight back all of those scary monsters one day.

Squee timidly approached the, now hyper, maniac and tugged gently on his sleeve to get his constantly wavering attention. We all want the attention of spacy people, right?

"Uhm... Mister Johnny sir... I'm hungry for healthy food." Squee explained, his soft voice barely reaching the maniac's ears. "Like... Carrots... And peanut butter sandwiches... Stuff like that."

Johnny turned to face Squee, holding an armful of candycanes and chocolate. "Candy's healthy." he explained defensively. "Like Reese's Peanut butter cups... Peanut butter's healthy."

"Uh... I need more than just-" Squee began.

He was interrupted by the maniac suddenly looking over his shoulder to something else. Squee looked at him questionably.

"Are you okay?" the timid boy asked, hoping the answer ran along the lines of letting him stay with someone else.

Johnny suddenly smiled. "I didn't know this place had brain freezies!" he exclaimed hapily, running off so quickly that Squee couldn't see where he ran off to. "Braaaaaaaaaaaaain Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

Squee's eyes suddenly widened. Somehow. Now he was all alone in the scary grocery store with all the scary people who shopped there. (And some who just stole from there.)

And suddenly, he saw something that he _did_ know. He saw the two, incredibly stupid aliens that had tried to kidnap him some time back. He squeaked and tried to run off, only to have one of the aliens grab him by the collar of his shirt.

"You're comming with us, earth child!" the alien that was holding him exclaimed. "We know what we're doing!"

The aliens dragged Squee across the store, (what's with him being dragged today?) taking him to their horribly disguised space ship outside. As they passed by Johnny (who was happily slurping up his brain freezie while ignoring the world around him), Squee made a feeble attempt at grabbing the maniac's ankles. He'd rather be with a homicidal maniac than be expiremented on. Again. However, not only did Nny not notice, but little Todd's hands slipped almost immediatly.

"Mister scary neighbor man!" Squee cried, now clawing pathetically at the floor. "I'm being kidnapped by aliens that want to expirement on me! Hellllllllllllllllp!"

Johnny continued to not notice Squee. And to slurp his brain freezie. The boy tried to think of a plan to get the scary neighbor man to notice him as he was still being dragged away. But how would he get the attention of someone so spacey?

"HELP!"

Nothing.

"JOHNNY!"

Still nothing.

"HEY, LOOK! THERE'S A PERSON OVER THERE WHO WANTS YOU TO HURT THEM! RESCUE ME AND I'LL TELL YOU WHERE THEY ARE HIDING!"

And again, nothing.

**"NNY!"**

Squee had finally gotten Johnny's attention, just as he was being dragged outside.

"Squeegee!" Johnny exclaimed, running after the boy quickly. When he got outside, he stared at the aliens and pointed to them for no real reason. "Hey, you! Aliens! Stop kidnapping Squee!"

The aliens stopped and stared back at him quizzatically. Johnny angrily threw his brain freezie at them, splashing them with it's cherry flavored goodness.

"Oh no! We are allergic to this strange substance!" one of the aliens cried as it began to melt.

"It's one of our many... I mean, it's our one and only weakness!" the other alien shouted as he, too, melted.

Johnny walked over to Squee, who was shivering, covered with a disgusting mixture of brain freezie and alien goo. Squee looked up at him, his eyes wider than usual.

"M- Mister Johnny... sir..." Squee began.

Johnny stared at the child for a moment. "Hey, Squee, you're covered in alien goo." Johnny pointed out. "Let's go home."

-

Back at Johnny's house, Shmee was having an arguement against Mr. Eff. Psycho Doughboy and Nailbunny found it very amusing.

-

Yeah, that's it. I wasn't sure where to end it. Oh well. Anyway, review if you liked it!


	4. The Scary Walk Home

A/N: It's back after a long bought of writers block and carpal tunnel! Yay! (I apologize in advance for the shortness of this chapter.)

Disclaimer: Jhonen owns the characters. I own the plot of this particular piece of fiction. This wouldn't really be _fan_fiction if I made the characters, would it?

* * *

As Johnny and Squee walked down the sidewalk (Johnny carrying a large armful of candy), Squee began to wonder what kind of psycho, merciless god was controling his life. Having to live with a homicidal maniac, no matter how temporary, was not exactly his idea of a fun day. Or week. Or month. Or year. Or however long it would take until his parents finally came back. (Cue shot of Squee's parents leaving the country here.)

Squee's mind returned to reality when Johnny stopped walking, causing the young boy to bump into him.

"Hey, let's go to the mall." Johnny said out loud, more to himself than to Squee. And evil smile began to appear on his already scary face. Not a good sign.

"B- but shouldn't we go home and put the food away?" Squee asked matter-of-factly. "Besides, didn't you tell me once that you didn't like the mall?"

Johnny didn't even seem to notice Squee was there anymore. Before Squee could react, the maniac was off, leaving Squee all alone on a scary sidewalk in the even scarier world.

The child looked around nervously for a few minutes, wondering what he should do. Part of him wanted nothing more than to run back to Johnny's house, find Shmee, and hide somewhere until his parents got back. (Assuming they planed on comming back, that is.) The other part of him wanted to become a squirrel themed super hero and defend the world from evil. And maybe become a space pirate.

Todd finally decided that the first decision sounded a lot more reasonable, so he began walking to Johnny's house. As he walked, he smiled to himself. Sure he was stuck living with an insane maniac, but at least it was a nice day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, he could see Pepito walking towards him in the distance... Wait, what?

Yes, sure enough, Pepito, also known as the son of Satan or the antichrist, was in the distance walking toward the now frightened little boy. Squee's eyes darted around, trying to find a quick hiding place. He noticed a short bush that could just barely conceal him. So he jumpped into the bush, hoping with every fiber of his being that Pepito hadn't already noticed him.

"Hello, Todd." Pepito greeted mere moments later. "Why are you hiding in that bush? Are you playing hide and seek or something?"

Squee crawled out of the bush nervously. "Uh... No... I, uh... I dropped some money and I think it fell into this bush." Squee lied. Thinking on his feet was not one of his strong suits.

"Ah. Well, my dad and I are going to torture the damned." Pepito explained, seeming very happy. "Do you want to come? There'll be nachos."

"Uh... Actually... I've gotta go home now." Squee explained, his voice shaking. "S-sorry."

"Oh, that's too bad." Pepito sighed. "Well, maybe you can come some other time. Bye!"

And with that, Pepito left. Squee waved goodbye weakly before turning the other way and taking off for Johnny's house faster than Sonic the hedgehog himself.

-

When Squee walked through the front door of Johnny's house (which Nny never seemed to lock), he was met with the sight of Shmee and Eff at each other's throats while Nailbunny and Psycho watched, amused, with popcorn and large sodas.

"You're a bigger fool than your host!" Shmee yelled, holding Eff in a headlock. "Killing is so pointless!"

"You're the fool, you stuffed freak!" Eff argued. "Killing is an activity that can be enjoyed by the entire family! Plus, the blood keeps my master in the wall. I kind of like that."

Squee just stood there, dumbfounded. He could have sworn Shmee could only move in his dreams. And, by the sound of it, this was a pretty morbid argument. Why did all the weird things have to happen to him?

"Oh, hi Todd." Nailbunny greeted, causing the child to jump nearly twice his height into the air. "Where'd Johnny go?"

"He... He went to the mall." Squee explained nervously. Talking to the head of a decaying bunny was more than a little weird, he noted. "I think he's going to hurt more people."

"Well, that's disappionting." Nailbunny sighed. "Ah well... Hey, do you want to help us before those two idiots destroy the entire house?"

Squee looked over to Shmee and Eff. Sure enough, they were waging an insane mini war that included pots for army hats and random cans of food (that had obviously been looked over earlier) for grenades. Squee backed away as a stray marshmallow flew by his head and hid in his temporary room, locking the door (and baricading it with a chair) behind himself. He hated to admit it, but he was _really_ starting to wish Johnny would come back soon. If anyone could stop a mini war, it was him. Actually, maybe he'd make it worse...

-

Johnny was running around the mall like the maniac he was, killing every person in sight with a lollypop stick... somehow. Yes, to him it seemed like a virtual paradise.

"Isn't this fun, Squee?" he asked as he killed an annoying makeup sales lady. When he got no response, he looked around and finally realized that the child wasn't there. "Hmm... Must've gone home early."

And with that, Johnny continued his slaughter of everyone in sight, proving just how evil a simple lollypop stick could be.

* * *

Yeah, sorry for the shortness. And the lack of update. On the bright side, I already started a little bit of teh next chapter, so this should be updated again a bit quicker. It just depends on how much computer time I get.

Thanks to all who have reviewed thus far! You all get hugs!


	5. The Aftermath Of WW3

A/N: (Sneaks in.) Ah-ha, I'll just post this here before people notice it's been almost four years...

Disclaimer: Seriously, I'm so sorry for not updating in so long! I could probably write an apology in essay format, but that wouldn't be _nearly_ as fun to read, now, would it? (Also, I'm listening to French music right now. Not really sure why.)

* * *

Johnny returned home a few hours later, holding his (now blood-soaked) bag of candy. He was greeted with the sight of Shmee and Eff buried under a pile of empty food cans while the previous contents of said cans were all over the house. Even the ceiling. How they managed that, the world may never know.

"Hey, where's Squee?" the maniac asked. "And where'd those cans come from?"

Nailbunny floated up to him.

"Squee's in his room, terrified out of his little mind," the decaying bunny head explained. "And those were all the food cans you somehow overlooked while you were throwing things out of your pantry earlier today. You should really pay more attention to those kinds of things if you're going to be taking care of a small child, you know."

"Oh."

Johnny set the bloody bag of candy down and pulled out a lolly pop that just happened to be red. Because it totally wasn't covered in blood, it was just a coincidence. I swear.

"I think Squee's still hungry," Johnny muttered to no one in specific.

"... You're not even listening to me, are you?" Nailbunny asked.

Johnny ignored the decaying bunny head, walked off and knocked on Squee's door. Which was, as usual, followed by the terrified squeak that earned the boy his nickname.

"Squeegee, it's me," Johnny said. "Aren't you hungry? A growing kid needs food. I think."

Johnny heard the sounds of Squee moving things from in front of his door. The small boy peered out of the room timidly, taking in the aftermath of the mass chaos that had driven him into his room in the first place.

"Um... Don't you need to clean your house, mister neighbor man?" Squee asked. "It's awfully messy."

Johnny waved a hand dismissively.

"Nah, it's always like this," the maniac said, again, dismissively. "Here, I brought you some food."

Johnny held the lolly pop out for Squee to grab. Squee merely stared at the candy, his eyes wide with terror. As usual.

"But... Candy isn't breakfast..." Squee said, cutting off when Johnny tossed the lolly pop at him and walked away.

Squee stared at the lolly pop in his hands, wondering if it was covered in blood or just happened to be strawberry-flavored. Either way, it had come from the scary neighbor man, and that was enough to make Squee question the safety of eating it.

"... There's gotta be something else to eat in this house," Squee commented to himself.

Squee had to use all of the reserve braveness inside of him to simply leave his room, deciding that the thought of starving to death outweighed his fear. He set the lolly pop down on the kitchen table (after having to step over the cans and various other crap that was all over the floor thanks to the mini war) and began to look around for other food to eat.

He briefly wondered where on earth Johnny had run off to, hoping that the maniac wasn't torturing (or killing) anybody. However, just as Squee thought that, terrible screams ripped through the house. Squee, as a reflex, screamed, grabbed Shmee (who had been almost buried under the wreckage from the war), and ran to his room, closing, locking, and barricading the door behind himself.

Yes, living with the scary neighbor man was going to be even more hellish than he initially thought.

* * *

A/N: But on the bright side, Shmee's probably covered with some of the food from the cans, so Squee can finally eat!

Also... (sets down large box) Here is a suggestion box. I'll probably update faster if I have some ideas of where to go with this thing.


	6. OCD and Skettios

A/N: Hey, look, it didn't take more than three years this time!

Disclaimer: I do not own skettios. Well, I might have a can of them somewhere around here, but I don't own the company that makes them. (Wouldn't that be nifty, though?) Also, thanks to the person who gave me the idea to use the skettios!

* * *

Squee looked around his little room, unsure what else he could really do. After all, the scary neighbor-man's house was... well, scary. And messy. Very, very messy. Even the room Johnny had prepared for him, the boy realized, was a horrendous mess with crap all over the floor and stains that Squee hoped had been from tomato soup and not from a body.

Of course, this being the home of a homicidal maniac, the latter was a lot more likely.

"Shmee... I hate it here," Squee said to his stuffed bear. "It's smelly and dirty and scary... I really want to go home."

A cockroach scuttled across the floor as if to emphasise the "dirty" point. Squee jumped at the sight of the little critter, and he watched the roach until it disappeared behind a hole in the wall.

"That's it," Squee decided, "I have to clean this place up."

And so, for the next few hours, Squee cleaned and cleaned so that his room wouldn't have to be as much of a horrible mess. How he managed to acquire cleaning supplies without leaving the room is another, much less interesting story.

When Squee was finally finished cleaning the tiny room to the best of his abilities, he heard a knock at the door that made him nearly jump out of his skin. Before he could ask who was there (which would have been pointless; it was obviously Johnny, unless Squee was going insane and hearing imaginary knocks on doors), the door opened despite being blocked off by a chair.

Johnny poked his head into the room.

"... You do realize this door opens out, right?" Johnny asked. "You can't really block anyone from coming in."

Squee merely stared at the scary neighbor-man in his usual brand of pure, slightly irrational fear.

"Anyway," Johnny went on, "I made some skettios if you want any."

In Squee's mind, any skettios that Johnny made were probably giant, child-eating skettios of death, complete with glowing red eyes and fangs. And probably their own cult. That promoted jaywalking. However, seeing as he hadn't eaten at all today and it was well passed noon, Squee figured there was really nothing else he could do.

After all, he could always run away screaming if they really _were_psycho cult child-eating skettios. Because he would totally see that one coming.

What he totally _didn't _see coming, however, were perfectly normal, safe skettios in a bowl that may or may not have been clean. By this point, Squee was so hungry he didn't care.

"Yeah, I was in the middle of... working," Johnny said, censoring his murderous rampage for the young child. "And then Nailbunny reminded me to feed you. So... uh... yeah. Skettios."

Squee hopped into the chair by the table and began eating the skettios like a starving animal. He barely took notice of Johnny leaving until a few minutes later when terrified screams tore through the house. And even then, Squee was so focused on eating that he didn't run and hide. Sure, he screamed and nearly hit the ceiling with how high he jumped, but he didn't run and hide.

After tearing through the food, Squee took the bowl and spoon over to the sink that was overflowing with dirty dishes and, upon closer inspection, a severed human arm with the expensive watch still on the wrist. He screamed, dropped the bowl (which somehow didn't break), and ran back to his room.

"Shmee, this place is so screwed up," Squee said to his stuffed bear that may or may not have been evil. "I wanna go home. Do you think I could slide down the chimney like Santa Claus to get inside?"

Squee waited for a moment for his bear to respond.

"You're right; my parents probably have a rabid dog in there just in case I try something like that," Squee said, agreeing with his stuffed animal.

When he thought about it, maybe a rabid dog _wouldn't_ be so bad compared to the hell he was in.

However, considering rabies would make it impossible for him to drink water, causing him to die a slow, painful death, maybe staying with the scary neighbor-man wasn't so bad.

If anything, his stay with Johnny wasn't nearly as bad as the person who was screaming from the bowels of the house. Yeah, that person's experience with Johnny's "hospitality" probably wasn't that great.

* * *

A/N: Nonsense, I'll bet that screaming man's stay at Johnny's house is like staying at a five-star hotel. (You know, a hotel in Silent Hill or something.)


	7. Se7en Part One

A/N: Hur hur, I'm so clever. (This'll make more sense as you read on, I promise.) (Oh, and if you're wondering, I'm referring to the chapter title.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Blockbuster, or the movies mentioned. Well, I own copies of the movies on DVD, but... Ah, hell, you're all smart enough to figure this out!

* * *

Later that day (because the author has no sense of time, this day just may last more than the standard twenty four hours), Johnny stopped torturing his poor victim and decided to actually spend some time with Squee. Probably because Nailbunny reminded him that Squee was still there.

So, Johnny and Squee were off to the nearest Blockbuster to rent some movies to watch.

"Okay," Johnny said when they got to the building, "you can pick out a movie, too."

Squee and Johnny separated (which scared the hell out of Squee, seeing as he was surrounded by scary strangers now) and searched for their movies. Squee saw a movie called "Hide and Seek," which he assumed was about children playing the game that was the movie's title. However, he decided to get "Back to the Future" instead, as he had seen that movie before and knew it wasn't scary.

However, when Squee looked for Johnny, he saw that the maniac was no longer in the video rental place. He looked out the window and saw that Johnny had somehow forgotten him and was walking down the street (or the sidewalk; walking in the street isn't very safe after all) back to his house. Disappointed, Squee set his movie back down and ran to catch up with Johnny, feeling safer with a homicidal maniac he knew than he felt with strangers he didn't know.

"Oh, hey, Squee," Johnny greeted. "When'd you get here?"

"... You brought me with you, remember?" Squee said. "We were going to rent movies."

Johnny seemed to think for a moment.

"Oh, yeah. Well, I got a good movie for us to watch together. So it's all good."

Squee decided to not bring up the fact that he still wanted to watch "Back to the Future," hoping that by sheer coincidence, Johnny had just happened to pick it out himself.

However, Squee would discover within the next ten minutes, his hopes had lied to him. Stupid hope.

For when they returned to Johnny's house, Squee saw that the movie Johnny had chosen was "Se7en," which Squee was pretty sure wasn't about nice, happy numbers.

"... It's not a scary movie, is it?" Squee asked unsurely. Knowing the scary neighbor-man's... hobbies... certainly made Squee question his choice in movies.

Johnny stared at the cover of the movie for a moment, as though that would tell him how to answer.

"... Yeah, it might make your head explode with fear," Johnny said. "But I love it, so you're watching it with me."

"Um... I'm not sure if my parents would be okay with me watching a scary movie," Squee said in a desperate attempt to not have nightmares that night. "I should probably call them and ask them..."

"Okeedokee."

Johnny handed Squee the phone. Squee called his parents, and was shocked that his father actually answered.

"What do you want?" Squee's father asked, sounding very inconvenienced. "We're on vacation to get away from _you_, you know."

"Um... I'm sorry," Squee said. "Um, when are you guys coming home, anyway?"

"Probably never," his father said seriously.

"Oh... Um, well, the scary neighbor-man you left me with, um, wants me to watch a scary movie, but I'm not sure..."

"Watch it," Squee's father said. "Maybe it'll give you a backbone."

Before Squee could protest, his father hung up.

"So, can you watch it?" Johnny asked.

Squee stared at the phone as if it betrayed him.

"... Yeah..."

"Awesome!" Johnny said with a grin. "I'll go make the popcorn!"

Johnny ran into the kitchen, leaving Squee all alone in the scary living room.

"No, Shmee," Squee said after a moment. "I think even if I _did_ set the house on fire, the TV and movie would somehow not burn up. And then I'd still have to watch it. Besides, setting people's houses on fire is rude."

* * *

A/N: Understatement of the year. I'm hoping you (my awesome readers) will know what the movies mentioned are (although "Hide and Seek" is pretty obscure, so don't feel too bad if you don't know that one). If you haven't seen Se7en, go to your nearest video rental store (or Netflix, I guess) and watch it. It's awesome.


	8. Se7en Part Two

A/N: ... I'm going to blame Pokemon Black and White for this not getting updated about a week sooner. They've been so distracting since they've come out.

Disclaimer: I don't own JTHM or Se7en. Or Pokemon. Not that Pokemon is mentioned at any point, I just thought you'd want to know if I own it or not.

* * *

In minutes, Squee found himself sitting on Johnny's couch, holding onto Shmee as if for dear life. The bowl of popcorn was between him and Johnny, but the doughboys were fighting over it, so Squee decided to not get in the middle of that. Nailbunny was floating right by his head, which made the easily frightened youngster even more frightened than usual, as though it were the scary icing on top of the fear cake. In short, Squee was very, very scared.

And then the movie started.

The advertisements for other movies to see weren't too bad, although Johnny's irritation with them sure was scary. Squee was very happy there were no other people there, otherwise he was sure Johnny would have literally killed someone with how impatient the advertisements were making him. (Of course, why Johnny was sitting through them instead of simply hitting the Menu button and skipping over them, Squee couldn't quite figure out.)

"So, um, mister Johnny, sir, what's this movie about?" Squee asked timidly, hoping to calm the maniac down a little by getting his easily distracted mind back on this movie he seemed to like and off the advertisements.

"Huh?" Johnny asked, seeming to forget that Squee was there. Again. "Oh... It's about a bunch of people who deserve to die getting killed in terribly gruesome ways. It's really wonderful."

"Um... Why do they deserve to die?" Squee asked, worried that this wouldn't be such a wonderful movie to watch after all. Then again, considering Johnny's... hobbies... his choice of movie was only to be expected. After all, would it really be reasonable to imagine such an insane man watching something happy and child-friendly?

No. Probably not.

"Because they're all disgusting and human," Johnny said simply.

"The killer in this movie targets his victims based on the seven deadly sins," Nailbunny explained, nearly causing Squee to jump out of his terrified little skin at the sight of a talking, decaying bunny head. "One for gluttony, one for pride, and so on. Honestly, Nny, do you really think Todd should be watching this with you? It isn't exactly child-appropriate."

Johnny seemed to think for a moment.

"... His dad said it'd be okay," Johnny said. "And that's good enough for me. Besides, this movie is really good. And underrated. More people need to watch it. Oh, look, the opening credits are starting."

Squee looked back to the TV screen, seeing horrible image after horrible image, wondering just what on earth was going on. The creepy music accompanying the images wasn't helping.

"... What's he doing?" Squee asked. He immediately wondered why he had asked, as the answer would probably scare him more than not knowing.

"Oh, he's just writing in his diary," Johnny said, seeming like he was already deeply absorbed in the movie despite the fact that it had barely started.

"Why does he have gauze on his fingertips?" Squee asked, wondering why on earth he was asking questions he really didn't want the answer to.

"The answer to that one's kind of a spoiler, though, isn't it?" Johnny asked, looking to Nailbunny.

Nailbunny just floated there for a second.

"... I still don't think he should be watching this in the first place," the floating bunny head said simply.

"But if it were between telling him the killer cuts off his fingertips and not, which do you think I should do?" Johnny asked.

"Wait, _what_?" Squee asked, staring at the deranged killer with a look of terror on his easily terrified face.

"... Nny, you just told him," Nailbunny said. "Way to go."

"Oh, he would have figured it out anyway," Johnny said dismissively, turning his wavering attention back to the movie. After another few seconds, Johnny spoke up again.

"Where the hell did Squee go?"

* * *

Elsewhere in the house, Squee sat curled up in the corner of the little room Johnny let him use, hugging Shmee so tightly, it was a surprise the bear's head didn't pop off.

He really hoped his parents would come back for him soon.

* * *

A/N: Did you really think Squee would make it very far into the movie? (Especially people who've seen Se7en before?) His poor little head would explode with fear if he got much further than the opening credits. Of this, I am sure.


	9. Peaceful Boredom Well, Sort Of

A/N: I've been listening to the weirdest combination of music lately, even by my standards. That has nothing to do with this fic; I just couldn't think of anything else for this author's note. Oh, wait, no, I got something. The spell check on this site hasn't been working for me at all, so there may or may not be a few misspelled words in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own JTHM or the short story ("The Monkey's Paw") mentioned in this chapter. (Seriously, am I the only person who remembers reading that short story about eight hundred times between middle and high school? I swear I read it in every English class I had after sixth grade.)

* * *

Squee sat there in the little room that Johnny let him use, hugging Shmee tightly. The initial fear of the scary movie had mostly passed, although the sounds of Johnny's hysterical laughter every time somebody in the movie was found brutally murdered certainly wasn't helping in that regard. Still, at least he was safe from the horrible images that would likely severly traumatize him if he saw them. Being severly traumatized probably wouldn't be very fun.

Of course, as the terrifying fear passed, Squee found himself horribly bored. Other than his teddy bear, he had nothing to play with in this tiny, awful room.

"What should we do, Shmee?" Squee asked. "I'm not tired yet. I don't think I could sleep anyway with all the noise the scary neighbor-man's making. And it's already as clean in here as it's going to get."

Squee looked to the various stains on the floor, telling himself over and over in his mind that they were from tomato soup and most certainly not from a body. He then looked outside the lone, partially covered-up window and saw that it was finally night time, showing that the author did, indeed, figure out that days do indeed lead to nights every so often.

The sky was a little cloudy, although Squee could still see a ton of bright, twinkilng stars. Well, maybe not a ton. He wasn't sure exactly how much stars weighed now that he thought about it. But there sure were a lot of them. If only he could be seeing this nice view from the relative safety of his own room, this could be a perfectly peaceful moment in the young boy's otherwise screwed-up life instead of just a somewhat peaceful one.

"I wonder if we'll see a shooting star?" Squee asked, holding Shmee up so he could see out the window as well. "With the way things have been going, I could use a wish or two."

Squee's mind started to wander, leading him to remember that shooting stars were just chunks of space rocks burning up in the Earth's atmosphere and likely unable to grant wishes. What he _really_ needed was a genie.

Oh, but genies were supposed to be mean. Taking things too literally or purposely interpreting wishes in a way that hurt the wisher. That certainly wouldn't be very fun. (Well, maybe for the genie, but...)

The thought of wishes going wrong made Squee remember a short story he had read a while ago about a cursed monkey paw that granted wishes. That story had scared him so badly, he could never look at monkeys the same way again.

Squee suddenly perked up, thinking he had seen a shooting star before realising it was just a helicopter. Stupid helicopter.

"If we had some paper and something to write with, I could keep a journal and draw some comics," Squee said out loud, talking to his teddy bear. "I wonder if I should ask the scary neighbor-man if he has anything?"

Squee paused for a moment, listening to Shmee's answer.

"... Don't you think that's a bit extreme?" Squee asked. "I think just asking for a notebook and a pen would be a lot easier than that..."

Then again, Johnny was probably still watching his scary movie (or torturing somebody, Squee didn't really want to think about that) and Squee wasn't sure he wanted to interrupt that. After all, Johnny was a homicidal maniac, and bothering him while he was doing something would probably be a bad idea.

Then again, he had never shown an interest in hurting Squee before. But Squee wasn't taking any chances.

Deciding that there was nothing better to do, Squee decided to just go to sleep. After all, there hadn't been any noise for a while, and a shooting star probably wasn't going to come by to grant any wishes he may have had.

Just as Squee laid down, he heard a terrified scream from somewhere below the house, and a shooting star passed by the window, completely unnoticed, before crashing into a house across the street, causing it to explode and all nearby car alarms to go off.

This wasn't going to be a very restful night.

* * *

A/N: ... Well, it was _almost_ a peaceful night.


End file.
